It’s all the rage
I read about it in the pages of a magazine
Which informs me what the people in the scene are sporting
This year skinheads are important,
So I got my trousers shortened and I bought myself some braces
My laptop is ensconsed in one of the new Versace cases
I change my wardrobe on a seasonal basis
I spend a hundred pounds a week in my efforts to be chic
I’ve been known to wear a turban even though I’m not a Sikh
I knew it was wrong
But I wore a sarong
Because David Beckham is my hero
I want to be a size zero
like Posh Spice
I’m in dietary crisis
But I can’t afford my wedges at Donatella’s prices
So it’s Primark for me, and potentially the Gap
Even though their clothes are crap
You can guarantee the fact
They’ll be cheap
‘Cause they’re made by folks on 20p a week
Just so my trousers fall down and I can show my arse cheeks
I want Japanese worker boots with ninja toes
Ironic statements on t-shirts and a pair of black brogues
Enlargements to my breasts and some work on my nose
That bloke lives in Hoxton, you can tell, it really shows…

He’s got a manbag
He’s got a manbag
It’s not a handbag
It’s just a manbag…

Fashion is so fickle
And my love of it has got me in a pickle
I got t-shirts with a hammer and a sickle
I got Che Guavara badges
And I shop at Hennes now that Madge has got her latest range there
Isn’t it strange where we put our emphasis these days?
Sweatshop labour stitched into the pockets of our silk pj’s
Labels with the GDP of nations
While we struggle with inflation
And our nurses are on minimum wage
I threw away my baggy trousers because they were beige
And Bryan Ferry’s got me in a military stage
Of my fashion evolution
As I make up an illusion of glamour
Courtesy of Messrs Dolce and Gabbana;
I want Burberry and Birkenstocks and Yamamoto slacks
Hats by Jean Paul Gautier and tops at TK Maxx
Times are getting harder, but we love a bit of Prada
And we’re frequently caught waxing our backs cracks, and sacks
In this fashion revolution which reflects our lives today
As our men turn into women and our women waste away
Now the latest craze is sure to mend our ways and change our lives -
Instead of knives, we’ll all be carrying…

Manbags
Manbags
Not handbags
Just manbags…